Former English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the disease.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present health, his family and getting ready for when the illness worsens.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I handle situations differently, and after I have the information, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a number of scans showed nerves in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're rightly quite affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't sense ill. I don't sense poorly
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be capable of performing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can progress swiftly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the disease claims a third of people within a year and above half within two years of detection, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Treatment can only slow deterioration.
"It isn't ever me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two brilliant boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and commenced cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody said the priority was being in the moment.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very militantly directed on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those times back."
Player Connection
Top-level sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies indicating the rate of the disease is up to sixfold elevated than in the wider community.
It is believed that by reducing the oxygen available and causing harm to neural pathways, frequent, vigorous training can trigger the disease in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, persistent style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into physical contacts.
After appearing as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the throw-in in the critical phase of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a couple of other previous colleagues about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are there is the crucial thing," he said.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it ended now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you get to call your passion your career, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to assist in any way they can and I await having those discussions."
